Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
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