i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
