This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
