i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
