please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
