I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
