So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
