did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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