belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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