Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
