The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
