I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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