If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
