Moan for me like Helen Keller
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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