I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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