I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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