____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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