I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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