Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
