i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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