thus making me awesome and them whores
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
