Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
