I think I am morally bankrupt
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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