yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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