What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
