Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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