Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
