Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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