I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
They are going to name an STD after you.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
