OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
