she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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