I need help removing her.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
