It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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