marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
