Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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