Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
