I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Pants are for mortals
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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