If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
