no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I think people are normalizing furries
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
