My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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