My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
