Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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