Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Randomize
