fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
