I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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