me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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