Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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