ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
