Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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