SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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