Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
