You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
