Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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