Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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