I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
