every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
